Can I get one of those hip diaper bags?

So, I thought I was over it. Day dreaming in the baby isles, calming the urge to by a hip diaper bag. Then today, while attending the 2nd foster care class. We were watching a video about the grieving process of children in foster care. After watching the foster parent console a birth parent, I admit I became a little impatient. Not at the foster care system, not at the birth parents, but at the universe.

Some of us can have sex, blink get pregnant, and raise children. Others have the cash to plop down thousands of dollars in fees for Adoption attorneys…but me…there is a possibility that I will end up consoling the birth parent as they attempt to reunify with their child–while the state has custody of their child.

Sigh. At Target they have these hip diaper bags for Dads…their sooo cute, and yes part of the fantasy of parenting. A lot easier to think of than attachment disorders and separation anxiety.

This fostering to adopt thing is emotionally complicated. I want to help a child that’s for sure–I’ve always wanted that.

I want to have a child–to give birth–I’ve always wanted that.

Is it a lot to ask for both? I’m not sure, but sometimes I feel bad about it. I’m exited about the prospect of helping a child, but their birth family too? Maybe God thinks I can handle it. Maybe I can, if I had a cool diaper bag.

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2 Responses to “Can I get one of those hip diaper bags?”

  1. I fantasize about baby socks and baby bibs. They are so cute. I had a dream last night I was pregnant with twins. The dream was lazy like a slow moving river. Underneath, a current so strong held this belief. I held my belly, calming the curves and believed I was. It felt so good to believe I was actually pregnant. Now I analyze it. Was the universe allowing me the feeling I long to have or am I psychic? I think the universe was being kind. Like letting an old lady eat without her dentures in.

  2. After going through foster/adopt classes, my husband and I realized that we weren’t cut out to foster and are going straight to adoption. Right now we are just too judgemental about people who horribly abuse/neglect their children to want to help them get those children back. It sounds awful to say, even more awful to see in writing, but that’s the way we feel. Anyway, I’ll be following along on your blog hoping to read lots of good news in the weeks and months to come. Best of luck!

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