Archive for foster care

birthdays, and baby sex

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on April 5, 2008 by usgirls

Yesterday was my birthday. I spent 1/2 of it sulking and the other half shopping for a fizzy bath ball (the proze for the worst comments contest winner). I have also come to the realization that no amount of red wine can make me sexy enough for baby sex. Because truly, all sex right now is stressful, waiting for hope , then disappointment, intercourse. This morning my hubbie gave some advice about sthinking about showing our love for each other, and taking care of our needs instead of sex for babies. But of course, that went right over my head.

The problemis, I get so stressed out that I try to AVOID sex. Can you believe it! what a freak I am. Also, I do not recommend target brand ovulation predictor kits. Why did I even bother with those. Am I serious? If anyone has a cure for baby sex anxiety please let me know.

I hope today gets better.


The winner is…!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on April 1, 2008 by usgirls

Thank you all for submitting to the Worst Comments contest. Every comment mad me angry & sad at our society’s lack of care for women at all stages of motherhood. What is the best way to educate these people about what a REAL woman actually is, how can we even educate ourselves?

After reading these over and over, and over I felt my heart get smashed everytime I read Tricia Broderick’s experience…

Unfortunately, this is 100% true.

I am now an anti-baby shower woman. So I decided that if my second pregnancy resulted in a baby that actually came home breathing, we would have a “safe arrival or welcome” party instead of the baby shower. So a few months after Sean’s arrival home, we threw the party. A friend of my husband’s family came to the party with 3 of his 4 children…we’ll call him A. A is married in his late 30s or early 40s with 4 children. A proceeded to approach me with “So how does it feel to prove you are a woman?”. Now I am not a person that is ever lacking words, however, I was in a state of complete disbelief that someone would say this. I was prepared for “now you have a child” or “everything is better now” but not that. My husband was also standing there and quickly escorted him into a different room before I replied.

I wish I could stop there and say that I had to hear someone ask me that question but oh no…it continues. A few months later, there was a town festival that we were walking around at. Of course, who comes walking up to us, A and his entire family. The first question how of his mouth directed to me “So how does it feel to prove you are a woman?”. Only this time I had thought for months regarding replies to that question, yet because is children were right there I just couldn’t bring myself to say them. However, this time I walked away from him. I turned to my husband and said, “I’ll be waiting by the water fountain”. I’ve never seen him since and hope I never do (or at least when he is with his children and I have to be a better person).


Tricia can be reached at  

go by and give her a heads up!

Been away.

Posted in foster care, infertility, loss, worst comments contest with tags , , , , on March 29, 2008 by usgirls

Hey, I’ve been away for a few days.  Sorry, ’bout that.  I never got to separate the “loss” comments from the others, so  they are up with the others. Monday the contest will be officially over. Thanks again all!

The next post is  a guest comment  from my friend Megan.


Dreams, Vibes and the end of the Worst Comments Contest

Posted in loss with tags , , , , on March 22, 2008 by usgirls

Well, lemme tell ya.  If I thought I was the only one feeling humiliated, and most of the time frustrated at people’s comments I truly know now that I am not alone. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with me and with the rest of the world.  The official rules stated that the contest was gonna go until March 30, but…

I had a bad dream–it was a doozy.  I am writing this minutes after waking.  I think reading all the ways we’ve been hurt has created a part of my brain that expects disappoinment in my friends and in the fertility process.  I don’t want that-I don’t want that for my readers either.

So… from now on, please go ahead and vote for the worst comments.  (Click “comments” in  “Worst Comments 2”  Which should be archived in March.

Oh yes, and the lost comments will be posted today, but I gotta warn you, don’t read those if you don’t  wanna be pissed all  day.  They’ll be in a “loss” category.

To encourage more hope please send in the best ways people have comforted you after, adoption, loss, or ongoing during your fertility struggles.  I will also be brightening up this blog!


Worst Comments Contest Winner

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on March 16, 2008 by usgirls

Well since I only had 1 entry, she  (bestlight) gets the candle! Check out her blogs at and

I’m gonna buy myself one too–my own husband blurted out a very stupid, akward question at our Foster care class.  We missed our pre-adoption class, so we asked someone who went–my husband asked

“Did they talk about subsidies?”

Our friend was mortified.   I thought- “She’s probably having the same infertility, lack of faith, issues that I am and subsidies were probably the LAST thing she was thinking of.”

Of course my husband caught his mistake after his comment coughed up out of his mouth.  But it was too  late, it was all over us…yuck.   so wait—I’ll have HIM buy my candle.

Me and Tom Petty

Posted in adoption, Family, foster care, infertility with tags , , , , , on March 14, 2008 by usgirls

The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest par

Sigh…last foster care class is tomorrow. Ovulated this week.

Worst Comments Contest

Posted in Uncategorized, worst comments contest with tags , , , , on March 5, 2008 by usgirls

Send in the worst comments you’ve heard about adoption, foster care family, or infertility and win a really cool candle (that’s the only prize I can afford right now). This contest will help us feel better about those wacky folks who just don’t get it!


Do not identify by name who said the thing to you–I don’t want to break up families or get anyone fired!

The story should be told in less than 50 words

Get your story/comments in by March 15! (My payday)